Shut up and drink your Jesus

First off, let me start by saying that anyone who has found this blog by searching for “Jesus” is going to be soooo disappointed. And possibly offended. You may even find yourself wanting to pray for me. Please don’t. While I appreciate that you really feel you’re doing something good, I feel that Jesus has a sense of humor so I’m good here. So if you’re offended by the title and not intrigued, move along. Not the blog for you. I was about to say sorry but I’m really not.

Next, I had a nasty cold recently, which is why there has been so little out of me. I cured it, for the most part, with lots of garlic and vitamin C. I seemed to have let it take a bit of a hold again by having a weekend of fun and alcohol. I had a two-day hangover and today I feel more stuffed up. Or maybe I would have anyway, even without the fun and alcohol. It turns out alcoholic beverages do wonders for making your cold feel like it’s all gone and that’s great. In moderation. Moderation went out the window.

The point of this blog entry, though, is an article I found on coffee this morning. I love articles like these because they support my habit of coffee. They turn it from a “bad habit” into something good. In fact, I may even add one more cup to my daily intake. Maybe. The studies that have been going on, finding correlations between coffee intake and reduced risk of certain diseases is, in my world, the most fantastic things ever. I find these articles more and more lately and there’s nothing better than to be able to say, “See? My addiction is good!” (If it’s good, can it still be called an addiction?) Things I’ve read that coffee can help reduce the risk of: early onset Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, colon cancer, certain types of skin cancer, breast cancer, type 2 diabetes, and depression. There’s even been a study that seems to have found that coffee can actually help prolong your life. Next they’ll say it can cure death. Coffee will cure disease and raise the dead. Like Jesus. A big, warm, tasty cup of Jesus. Of course, there’s always the chance that coffee will actually be the cause of the Zombie Apocalypse. I hope everyone has their zombie plan ready, just in case.

I just had an entire different paragraph here but I’ve decided to save it for a future blog entry. Don’t want to run out of material. On that note, time to clean up the mess from making coffee. Until next time.


Pardon my mucus

I’ve head a cold since Monday night. I can pinpoint the exact moment it hit me. That weird bit of scratchiness in my throat and a sudden tingling in my sinuses. I sat up straight on the couch and said, “Oh no!” My boyfriend, who was just getting over a cold knew, with just those words. “You’re getting sick!” he said. Yep. That was exactly it. I ran to the kitchen and cut up a bunch of raw garlic and threw it into some left over egg drop soup which I proceeded to garbage down, hoping to get as much garlic in me at once as I could (after heating the soup of course). I also made some tea full of some Chinese herbs that are good for clearing the nose and all that and drank that down. I went to bed.

The next morning, I got up to get ready for an eleven hour shift at work. I didn’t feel much worse but it was definitely taking hold. I got ready, popped a vitamin C drop in my mouth and headed for work. Before I headed in, I stopped and bought some garlic pills. Got to work, made more of my Chinese tea and promptly swallowed two garlic pills. You’re only supposed to take one a day for a healthy heart but I was trying to kill a cold. So two. And I planned on taking another at lunch and then another later in the afternoon. Perfect, because the box says they’re odorless. Lies! All lies! Twenty minutes after taking the first two I could taste garlic in my mouth. (At this point, let me note that the bank I work in is what is known as an in-store branch. An in-store branch is a bank branch located, well, in a store. Usually a grocery store or superstore of some kind. You’ve seen them around. This is as specific as I will get about where I work.) I borrowed some gum from a co-worker and then ran out into the store to buy more gum when I could.

Now, I’m calling the garlic pills a liar but to be fair, I did take two pills as opposed to one, which may very well make a difference. However, later when I just took one, I had that same garlic taste in my mouth twenty minutes later. Granted, that was the third one I’d had that day. So maybe if you just stick to one a day? Regardless, not only was I fighting a cold, I was fighting garlic breath.

I lost the fight. By Tuesday night, the cold was pretty full blown. I went to work Wednesday, which is very busy for us in the evening. That sapped whatever energy I had left and I’m home sick today and glad for the rest. Between the garlic, vitamin C and the Chinese herbal tea (all of which I kept taking throughout Wednesday) I think I managed to lessen the impact though. I don’t think I’m as sick as my boyfriend got and I think, with rest today, that I should be feeling quite a bit better tomorrow. Which is good, because the boyfriend and I are heading up to his old college’s homecoming celebrations Saturday and meeting up with friends there. Some I know, but others I don’t and I don’t want my first impression to be of someone completely high on cold medicine, although that may have to be how it is. At least it’ll be amusing.