Asshole caterpillars and huge, freakin’ spiders

Well, I’ve been having a bit of drama in my life which has kept me from writing. I’m not going to go into detail here about it. Not now anyway. Possibly never, depending on the outcome. But I did have some things pop up to write about while I was on vacation in the woods of New Hampshire so I’m going to write about them.

So there were these small, green and black caterpillars. I kept finding one crawling up the entrance of the tent. I would remove it, and it would crawl back up. Or maybe it was another, who knows. One day, I approach the tent, another one is crawling up the door. Fine. I just ignored it because, seriously, I could waste my day flicking the damn things off the tent. I go in the tent, rummage for something and realize I should zip the door back up before bugs get in. I turn and I don’t see the caterpillar. So I zip up. And discover little green guts oozing out of the closed zipper. I had totally zipped up the caterpillar that had been crawling around. In fact I even yelled, “Oh my gods, I totally just zipped up a caterpillar!” I believe I received a resounding “Eww!” from my boyfriend. I felt pretty bad about it. I didn’t want to kill the thing!

Here’s the crazy part. After that, I kept seeing more and more of the silly things. Crawling up the door, crawling all over the tent, up on the outside of the mesh at the top of the tent…it was like they were coming after me. Turns out…they were! No, I know it sounds crazy but let me tell you about the one. I was sitting in a chair under a tree, feet propped up on the built in footrest when I notice one of them is crawling up my left pant leg. I sighed and flicked it off. About twenty minutes to a half hour later, the same one is now crawling up my right pant leg! Here’s how I know it was the same one: After I flicked it off again, I saw where it landed and watched it. It laid there for about a minute before starting to move again. It started to crawl slowly toward my chair! I watched this thing as it moved closer and closer, up a blade of grass and then onto one of the legs of the chair. It crawled up the leg toward the foot rest and then disappeared beneath it where I looked and found it trying to cling to the underside to make it’s way to the top and back onto my pants! I flicked it off again and decided to go do something else. Obviously it was trying to take revenge for it’s brother. They all were!

asshole caterpillar

Here’s one of the vengeful, little bastards.      (image: cafejohnsonia.com)

Also, I learned a valuable lesson. Always use a flashlight to thoroughly search the inside of the camping toilet tent before using it at night. If you don’t, you risk a giant freakin’ spider landing on your head. Luckily, I learned this lesson before it could actually land on my head but it was a close one. It’s also a good idea to have a blunt object available with which to club any giant spiders to death because it turns out they’re difficult to kill with just a pointy stick. Just saying. We tried to get it out by catching its web on a stick and tossing it out but the web broke, it fell to the ground and my boyfriend stabbed it to death with a stick about thirty times. You can’t overdo a stabbing with a giant spider.

I will not be putting up a sample picture of the giant spider. I’m not even sure what kind it was. I just remember a lot of legs and giant fangs. Okay, I don’t really remember any fangs but I’m sure it had them and that it would have tried to kill me with them because spiders are jerks.
On that note of insanity, I’m going to get some much needed sleep.

Mouse herding

My guy has been oh so slowly building a cabin up here in New Hampshire. It’ll be wonderful, one day. Today he decided to pull some tarp up from the floor and get rid of some leaves that had blown in at the same time. That’s when we found the mouse who had taken up residency. And that’s when two adults found themselves herding a tiny, tiny mouse back out into the woods where it belongs. I’m sure anyone watching would have found it hilarious. We did quite well as the mouse left. I’m certain he’ll move right back in once we’re gone though. They’re smart little things. Indoor nests are way better than outdoor. Everyone knows that.

Ah New Hampshire

Got in yesterday. Our stream was running lower than normal but rain all night got it going again! It’s beautiful and I can’t wait to wash my hair in it! Ir’s an exhilarating experience! Not much else to add as my signal is low out here. Thus ends my first status updatey post.

And away I go

Well, seems my last post has been getting quite a few hits. Perhaps I should stick with things more serious, eh? Perhaps not. I find life can really bog you down when you take everything too seriously. Of course there are a lot of things which must be taken seriously and we can’t ignore the troubles in the world, I just find it’s a lot easier to deal with it all if I keep the funny going. Or, at least, try to. Now if everyone reading would just hit the like button…although I’ve just discovered, you don’t get to Like a post unless you’re logged in to WordPress. *sigh* I wonder if there’s something I can do about that? Will have to look through my settings. Or just look into making my own website. Or just moving my blog altogether. I’d like ANYONE to be able to comment, Like, whatever.

I’ll be heading off on a trip today. Any posts I manage to make will be more like status updates as I’ll be depending on a WordPress app to do any writing and, frankly, I hate typing on my phone. Takes too long. Too many typos. That sort of thing. So anyway, this post is neither interesting or entertaining and for that, I apologize. But now you know why you may get short little blog updates. And knowing is half the battle. GI Joooooooooooeeeeeee!

R.I.P. Neil Armstrong (August 5, 1930 – August 25, 2012)

Just a few moments of seriousness. I’m a geek and I love sci-fi and all that it entails. I have since I can remember and the fact that human beings have actually walked on the Moon has always been amazing to me. It wasn’t fiction, it was real, and so things like Star Trek could also be real one day. That’s what that meant to me (and look how many Star Trek-y things we actually have so far!) Neil Armstrong was the first human being to ever set foot on the Moon. He set his foot down on the gray, dusty ground and said, “That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” Mankind. All of us. Every single human inhabitant of this planet. Whatever the United States’ reasons for sending men to the Moon (I know, so we could say we beat Russia there. Yippee fucking skippy. I guess that was a big deal back then.) the people that made it happen, and the men that actually set foot there, did it for everyone. They did it to expand our minds. They did it to take a step toward learning more about something so much greater than all of us. They did it for the shear joy of it. Thank you, Mr. Armstrong, for being brave and taking that first step. You will be remembered. Rest In Peace in the heavens you once traveled.

GAAAAAATES! (Said like Captain Kirk said, “KAAAAAAHHHHN!”)

I just spent way too much time trying to add my blog to a couple of search engines. Or something like that. Whatever I was doing it’s to get some traffic over here. Not that this blog is terribly entertaining. Yet. But Google was nice and easy. Bing, not so much. Gave me issues the whole way through and honestly I’m still not sure if I managed it. Way to go Microsoft. User friendly as always. Honestly, I should just stick with all things not Microsoft, maybe get a Mac next time I’m up for a new computer. Which is soon. Windows 7 drives me nuts. I was trying to copy just one portion of what’s called a meta tag but every time I would try, the entire tag would get highlighted. I would try again. Nope, must copy the whole thing. No really, you have to have the whole thing. No, all of it. Did I stutter? I’m Windows 7, you’ll do as I say and like it. Bitch. It’s not like I can’t copy the whole thing, paste it and then just delete the extraneous portions, but it’s the principle of the thing. I shouldn’t have to.

Ever.

Bitch.

(That, was directed at Microsoft, by the way).

What’s in the package?

I keep looking at my blog and the design and my options and just keep coming back to one thing: How the hell do you work this thing? Okay, it’s not bad as all that. I’ve pretty much got it figured out. I just can’t seem to be satisfied with the designs I keep picking out, so you’ll pardon me if I keep changing themes and such.

So why I’m really here is mention that I’ll be on vacation for next two weeks. I should get plenty of writing done, right? Probably not. I’ll be wandering off to places with little internet connection. In fact, I won’t have access to much electricity. Spending some time in the woods, feeling the earth, hearing the stream and the trees…sweet bliss to me. Anyway, seems like perhaps I should have started this whole thing AFTER my trip to the woods but, meh. I don’t leave for a day or so, so let’s see how much I can pack in before then, shall we?

For right now, I’m watching Labyrinth. I never realized what revealing pants David Bowie is wearing. They leave little to the imagination. I’ve seen far more of his junk than I’m comfortable with at this point. I’ve also just discovered that there’s a Facebook page entirely dedicated to Davis Bowie’s crotch. Check it out: Bowie’s crotch is here. In fact, a Google search proves this to be a rather popular topic. Who would have thought? You know, actually, I’m not even surprised. Why wouldn’t there be numerous references to David’s Bowie’s unit? He’s David Bowie. Most of his parts bear scrutinizing in some fashion. Actually, I’m guessing you search for anyone’s crotch and come up with a few references.

Speaking of packages, my boyfriend received on a little while back. I happened to be home that day when it arrived and we were IMing at the time. He asked me to open it and the following conversation took place:

Me: There’s a gas grill cover and…some other thing. A Grill Out handle light. No clue what that is.

Boyfriend: It’s for grilling at night.

Me: Ah, all that naked night grilling you have planned.

Boyfriend: I LOVE me some nighttime grilling. I mean if you can’t grill nude in your backyard at night the terrorists win.

Me: See, this is what I’ve been trying to tell everyone.

Boyfriend: They hate our freedom, my dear.

Me: I know, I know. If everyone just embraced naked nighttime grilling this would be a much better world. Although maybe an apron would be called for. We don’t want sparks or grease getting on any sensitive bits.

You see, I’ve somehow ended up talking about junk again. Ah well. On that note, I’m going to wrap this up. For now.
UPDATE:
I did a Google search for Mitt Romney’s crotch. Turns out, no one is interested in that.