Shut up and drink your Jesus

First off, let me start by saying that anyone who has found this blog by searching for “Jesus” is going to be soooo disappointed. And possibly offended. You may even find yourself wanting to pray for me. Please don’t. While I appreciate that you really feel you’re doing something good, I feel that Jesus has a sense of humor so I’m good here. So if you’re offended by the title and not intrigued, move along. Not the blog for you. I was about to say sorry but I’m really not.

Next, I had a nasty cold recently, which is why there has been so little out of me. I cured it, for the most part, with lots of garlic and vitamin C. I seemed to have let it take a bit of a hold again by having a weekend of fun and alcohol. I had a two-day hangover and today I feel more stuffed up. Or maybe I would have anyway, even without the fun and alcohol. It turns out alcoholic beverages do wonders for making your cold feel like it’s all gone and that’s great. In moderation. Moderation went out the window.

The point of this blog entry, though, is an article I found on coffee this morning. I love articles like these because they support my habit of coffee. They turn it from a “bad habit” into something good. In fact, I may even add one more cup to my daily intake. Maybe. The studies that have been going on, finding correlations between coffee intake and reduced risk of certain diseases is, in my world, the most fantastic things ever. I find these articles more and more lately and there’s nothing better than to be able to say, “See? My addiction is good!” (If it’s good, can it still be called an addiction?) Things I’ve read that coffee can help reduce the risk of: early onset Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, colon cancer, certain types of skin cancer, breast cancer, type 2 diabetes, and depression. There’s even been a study that seems to have found that coffee can actually help prolong your life. Next they’ll say it can cure death. Coffee will cure disease and raise the dead. Like Jesus. A big, warm, tasty cup of Jesus. Of course, there’s always the chance that coffee will actually be the cause of the Zombie Apocalypse. I hope everyone has their zombie plan ready, just in case.

I just had an entire different paragraph here but I’ve decided to save it for a future blog entry. Don’t want to run out of material. On that note, time to clean up the mess from making coffee. Until next time.